Flirt
by Mird
Summary: Roy is a flirt; Ed looks like a girl when he doesn’t put his hair up. Put two and two together. I know it sounds like royed, but it’s not. :D Oneshot. Details inside! Rated T for language.


Not Royed, I'm serious. I'm using this to make fun of Royed (WORST. PAIRING. EVER. My darling eddy-poo is not gay!!!)

I started writing this last night, but my laptop is retarded, so I lost the whole story before I could save. :( I rewrote it using what I remembered, but it's not quite as good as it was before. Oh well. I'm proud of it anyways. :) By the way, it changes to Roy's P.O.V. in the middle, so beware!

Flirt

Ed didn't have a mission (for once...) so he and Al used the free time to explore Central City. They visited a few bookstores and Ed looked through a jewelry store for earrings for Winry. By about three in the afternoon, Ed was tired of walking around in the burning sun, so they went into a tiny coffee shop near headquarters. Ed bought a cup of coffee and a chocolate croissant and sat down at an outside table with his brother.

"It's so hot out today," said Ed, his mouth filled with croissant.

"Eat with your mouth shut," said Al. "Honestly, Ed. Sometimes I feel like I'M the big brother." Ed rolled his eyes, but he shut his mouth anyways. "Maybe you wouldn't be so hot if you pulled your hair up; it must be annoying to have it covering your neck like that. Plus, it makes you look like a girl." Ed spit out his coffee all over the table and his brother.

"WHAT?!??! A GIRL?!?!? I'M NOT A GIRL, DAMMIT!!!!" he spluttered, coffee dripping from his chin. "HOW DO I LOOK LIKE A GIRL?!??!"

"Never mind, never mind!" Al assured quickly. "Calm down!" He looked down at himself. "Ew, you spit all over me..."

"Sorry," Ed apologized, still fuming. He started wiping coffee off of his brother's metal body with a napkin, quickly soaking it. "...We need more napkins." He said guiltily.

Al sighed. "I'll get some." He stood up, pushing his chair back with a scrape on the sidewalk. He walked inside, leaving Ed alone.

Ed reached a hand back to feel his hair. _It is getting kind of long... _He thought._ Maybe I should cut it. But seriously...A girl?! Damn...I'm not a girl..._

"Hello, there." Ed twitched at the sound of the strangely familiar voice that came from behind him. He had heard it before, many many times, but he couldn't quite name who it belonged to.

Suddenly, realization hit him. He groaned inwardly. _Not HIM!_

* * *

Roy's p.o.v.

* * *

I was about to walk into one of my favorite coffee shops when I saw her.

I couldn't tell her height because she was sitting down; I could only see a little of her face. She had a cute face, from what I could see.

It was her hair that I saw.

It was long and blond; it fell almost halfway down her back in gentle waves. It was beautiful.

"Hello, there," I said. She moved slightly in her seat, as if she were surprised that someone was speaking to her. She was sitting all alone; a good sign.

"You must be lonely sitting here all by yourself," I said in a gentle voice. "Would you mind if I joined you?" She didn't say anything.

I wondered if I was intimidating her. Maybe she was shy? Oh well. I could change her, I suppose, if we got to be close enough. It wasn't unlikely. From what I could see, she really was beautiful. If only she'd speak.

"Shy are we?" I said. "That's okay, but I'd love to here you talk. If your voice matches your beauty at all, then it must be amazing. Sweeter than any bird." I saw her move again. Was my natural charm finally coming into effect? Would she speak?

"...Flirting with me, huh?" she said. I was surprised; her voice was a lot lower than I had expected. She was shaking, too.

"You're shaking, miss," I said. I was confused. Who exactly WAS this girl?

"I'm shaking with fucking ANGER!" she shouted. Her fist rocketed out at me and hit me in the face. It felt like metal.

It WAS metal.

She turned around; that's when I finally realized that she wasn't a SHE at all.

"F-fullmetal?!" I stuttered. "W-what's the meaning of this?!" He was shaking in rage.

"That's what I should be asking YOU!" he shouted. "What is WRONG with you?! Are you fucking GAY?!"

I was stunned, but I stayed calm. "Fullmetal, are you aware that you look like a girl from behind?" I stated in a relaxed manner.

"So I've been told..." he growled through clenched teeth. Suddenly, his brother burst through the door.

"I cleaned myself off, Ed and- why do you look so mad?" Al asked.

"No reason," Ed replied stiffly, glaring at me. I kept silent. "Come on Al, let's go." He grabbed his brother's arm and off they went.

That night, I cleaned out my mouth with soap.

The End

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